Well Here We Are

 

If you are dumbfounded, curfuffled,beffuddled,  bemused, bereft etc etc at or by, or whatever the correct preoposition is, your kids’ sleep or lack thereof, stay up next to me.

Learning is Fun!

Yet again, the two little Freaks of Sleep are up before 6 am.  And we are at my parents’ so according to them this is yet another example of how I spoil my kids. Well what do I do when they are up so early turn on the TV of course, thereby spoiling them more.  At least I have a minute to write.

I want to let everyone know what got me through the first 6 weeks of my newborn with my toddler and what gets me through since with early morning rising: Leapfrog videos, Leapfrog Word Whammer, and basically, well anything Leapfrog. I am not one to give free publicity but seriously, these guys make learning fun and I have a baby genius to prove it. Kidding, he is not a baby genius, I just like using that term. Much like I using the term “celebutot” but I really have no need to (yet!). My almost three year old does know how to somewhat read already. I had been meaning to learn more about what they had to offer.  As it turns out, they have a ton of stuff! I am so plugged into the toddler set that anything beyond is mysterious and intimidating (HSM? what’s that? Who is Hannah Montana and why does she have her own toothpase?!)

The folks at Leapfrog sure know their demo- no commercials or magazine ads will do it- we moms are too busy and too inundated. We busy moms WILL  make time, however, for cocktails at the Four Seasons and a personal intorduction to the latest products that will educate and entertain my kids. Three mimosas later, I want to buy Leapsters for my whole family and sign The Boy up for Learning Path (because I need a trusted brand to tell me if my kids are learning, can’ t trust the state….)

My brother and I grew up with my Dad’s catch phrase “Learning IS FUN!” In those days that meant fancy flashcards, colored pencils, or perish the thought, a Speak N’ Spell! Technology of course, has come a long way, and my son’s TAG Reader makes what we used as learning toys look rather neolithic.  I am so glad my kids can play AND learn with beeping/flashing things (you control the volume!) and become literate at the same time instead of becoming zombie like automaton which seems to be the effect of most battery operated toys. But really, what I like best, and who are we kidding, is that I can go on Facebook or nurse the baby, without being pestered. Thanks, Leapfrog!

Why? Why Do They Have To Wake Up So Early?

When it comes to my kids’s sleep, or sleeplessness, I cry.  They cry.  I bet you have shed a tear about your kids sleep at some point. We were onto such a  good track with Baby Sister – the 8 month old. 7 pm- 7 am. No joke. Thanks to The New Contented Little Baby Book my sister-in-law gave me. Not a peep, if there was, we certainly didn’t hear it. After stupid, dumb, idiotic daylight savings, we may as well have traveled to Australia. now Baby Sister is all over the map. Diarrhea, a really bad rash and teething don’t help. The Boy? Well forget it. He comes into our bed at 3 am ( I think) very stealthily. We used to think it was sweet. We are so over it. Not cute anymore.  So what did I do? Slept on their floor, like a Mama Cojuda – as we say in Peru (loose less vulgar translation: Idiot Mom) to see what the problem was.

This is what I found out. He coughs so hard he wakes himself up. He then needs comfort. Comes to Mommy’s bed.  He also flounders around so much and is so gargantuan (like his dad, God love him) that he falls out of the toddler bed and wakes up. This wakes up his sister. Oh, did I mention they share a room? Does someone have a 3 bedroom they want to give me? Nightmare. Anyway, I made an appointment with pediatrician. Love her; she has saved my life and the kids’ on more than one occasion- to get his lungs checked.  she prescribed meds for a simple bronchial issue. So we will see about him. Will report.

This morning he came to our bed at 5.23 a.m.  we brought him back he cried, she woke up and cried. A cacaphony of wails. Sweet. My husband and I huddled together under our covers like the Blitzkreig was going on outside.  Baby Sister, when her sleep is interrupted, cries like a demonically possessed banshee being tortured- is that enough metaphor for you? And I let her. Oh yes, I am evil.  No comfort boob for her. I have a thick skin now (or do I?) Miraculously, she doesn’t wake him. Does anyone know why this is? Then…silence…they woke up simultaneously again at 6.45. Of course I had stayed up since 5.23 a.m. good times. No really, it was. They were both being so sweet and so cute and giggly with each other, how could I be mad? I was like a momma bear with her cubs reveling in their sweetness.

Thanks for listening. What do you think I should do?  How early did your kids wake up today? Of course as I write this the little angels (can you hear the drops of bitter sarcasm landing on the floor?) are napping. Bless, their little hearts. I am going to wake them up now…heh..heh.heh….and see how they like it.

The Dangerous Alphabet for Parents

As I cannot sleep tonight because of the anxiety produced by my kids being such crappy sleepers (or great stay awakers! if you want to put a positive spin on it) I thought of Neil Gaiman’s delicious and inappropriately sinister alphabet book for kids, entitled The Dangerous Alphabet with eerie illustrations by Gris Grimly. The Boy (4.5), Girl (2.5) and I (30′s) are enthralled by its creepiness and insidious and abstract villains.  As I lie awake, I came up with my own alphabet, perhaps not as delightful but definitely inappropriate and sometimes creepy.  If you are a fellow sleep deprived parent you may appreciate it.

A is for Ambien, I wish you could take

B is for Birth-Control which lack of – you did make

C is for Crazy, to which I’ve been driven

D is for Domestic,  my lot God hath given

E is for everlasting, your cries, deep in the night

F is for fragmented my, thoughts, my sight

G, is for Great love for you depite my

Hatred of early waking

I is for Irrational behavior, oh yes, that’s yours for the taking.

J is for Joking. Which I am not.

K is for Kindness, I try to display

L is for Laughing despite my dismay

M is for, yes, Mother, what else ould I say?

O is for Orphans which you will become if

P for Peter, your father decides we should, indeed, run

Q is for Quandary where you both send us

R is for Rest, what it is, I don’t know

Same goes for S- it is for Sleep, I am told

T is for Tomorrow,  a better day to behold!

U is for universal, which I know this is

V is for Vivacious which you both are, you little bizzatches

W is for Why bother, I love who you are

Y is for You- the gifts to my heart

Z is for Zzzzzzzzzzz , which will give me  a fresh start