The Dangerous Alphabet for Parents
As I cannot sleep tonight because of the anxiety produced by my kids being such crappy sleepers (or great stay awakers! if you want to put a positive spin on it) I thought of Neil Gaiman’s delicious and inappropriately sinister alphabet book for kids, entitled The Dangerous Alphabet with eerie illustrations by Gris Grimly. The Boy (4.5), Girl (2.5) and I (30′s) are enthralled by its creepiness and insidious and abstract villains. As I lie awake, I came up with my own alphabet, perhaps not as delightful but definitely inappropriate and sometimes creepy. If you are a fellow sleep deprived parent you may appreciate it.
A is for Ambien, I wish you could take
B is for Birth-Control which lack of – you did make
C is for Crazy, to which I’ve been driven
D is for Domestic, my lot God hath given
E is for everlasting, your cries, deep in the night
F is for fragmented my, thoughts, my sight
G, is for Great love for you depite my
Hatred of early waking
I is for Irrational behavior, oh yes, that’s yours for the taking.
J is for Joking. Which I am not.
K is for Kindness, I try to display
L is for Laughing despite my dismay
M is for, yes, Mother, what else ould I say?
O is for Orphans which you will become if
P for Peter, your father decides we should, indeed, run
Q is for Quandary where you both send us
R is for Rest, what it is, I don’t know
Same goes for S- it is for Sleep, I am told
T is for Tomorrow, a better day to behold!
U is for universal, which I know this is
V is for Vivacious which you both are, you little bizzatches
W is for Why bother, I love who you are
Y is for You- the gifts to my heart
Z is for Zzzzzzzzzzz , which will give me a fresh start
